89. My Infertility Story: From Heartbreak to Hope

This week, in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I’m sharing something deeply personal—my own infertility story.

Infertility doesn’t care how carefully you’ve planned, how many degrees you’ve earned, or how responsible you’ve been. It shows up quietly, painfully, and often without answers. For years, I walked through unexplained infertility—while working in medicine, while helping others, while hearing “just keep trying” from professionals who didn’t see the full picture.

In this episode, I share:

• 📊 The big-picture stats on infertility and miscarriage—and why so many couples feel unseen
• 💔 The emotional toll of unanswered infertility, including guilt, grief, and the sting of insensitive advice
• 🧪 How restorative reproductive medicine helped uncover the root causes that traditional care missed
• 🌱 The healing journey—physical and emotional—that led to three full-term pregnancies
• 🔥 Why this personal experience drives my mission at Radiant Clinic to offer a better way forward

Whether you're in the waiting, the wondering, or the heartache—I want you to know:
 You're not alone. You’re not broken. There is hope.

If you’re tired of being told “everything is normal” and want a team who listens, investigates, and truly cares—
🌿 Book a free discovery call at RadiantClinic.com
Let’s walk this journey together—toward answers, healing, and hope.

Transcript

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Monica 0:02

Welcome back to Cycle Wisdom, where we empower women to restore natural menstrual cycles, to improve health and promote fertility. I'm your host, Dr. Monica Minjeur, and I'm so glad you're listening today. Infertility does not care how many degrees you have, how hard you've worked, or how carefully you have planned your life. It just shows up quietly. Painfully and often without answers. Today, in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I'm sharing my own story, not just the facts, but the emotions, the guilt, the fear, the heartbreak of loss, and how that pain became the driving force behind my mission at Radiant Clinic to help others find hope. So let's start off today with a few statistics about infertility so that you can really see the big picture before we jump into my story Worldwide, about one in six couples will experience infertility in their lifetime, and most couples wait over a year before they even seek help. Oftentimes they're told everything looks normal or things seem to be just fine. Keep trying. Even when something deeper is going on in these couples, miscarriage is common impacting at least 15 to 20% of known pregnancies, but it's still taboo to talk about. And oftentimes couples feel as though even if they've had miscarriages that they no longer fall into this infertility category. There can be a profound emotional impact for many couples and emotions may range from grief to isolation, depression and anxiety, and often loss of trust, not only in their own bodies, but in the healthcare professionals who are entrusted to care for them. And so this is why during this week of national infertility awareness. It is so important that we start to break down these barriers to talk more about infertility and to normalize the reality that many couples struggle with. So let's get started. But this time with my own story about infertility, I. I have always been an overachiever. My family always joked that my blood type was a positive because I couldn't have it any other way than to be a star student. I was a focused student throughout my entire studies. I diligently paid attention during medical school and I had a long road of further education. I met my now husband while I was in residency, but we chose to delay starting our family until after I was finished with medical school and after I was finished with residency because this felt like the responsible thing to do. In fact, I waited until I started my first job and after my education was all complete before we started trying to conceive. Now, I had already received a lot of training on women's health and restorative reproductive medicine during my residency, so I had already been charting. My cycles looked normal. My husband and I were both very healthy and we had no reason to believe that there would be any issues. We thought, great. We know when to try and conceive. We know when our fertile window is. Everything looks great. And so really, we thought it would happen fairly quickly. Fast forward two whole years of trying with no answers, and this is from me, somebody who is a medical professional who understands these things. I went through a full workup and I was working with another healthcare professional at the time who doesn't have as much understanding of restorative reproductive medicine, but was also trying to be respectful of the process. We went through a full workup and I was told my labs were normal, my ultrasounds were normal. There were no male factor issues, and many of the well-meaning doctors that I was working with said things like, just keep trying or, you're both healthy, it will eventually happen. And one doctor even said, well, just reduce your stress levels. I mean, seriously, did this person know I am a physician who is trying to treat other people who are sick? I was frustrated. I felt so alone and unheard. And on top of this had pressure of certain family members and friends all around us who were getting pregnant easily. And I was asked by family often, when are you going to have kids or have you tried not trying? One of our doctors said, well, it only takes one sperm, and so things should be okay. Or my personal favorite was all of the people who gave friendly advice that was unwarranted. Things like, well, my coworkers started eating, fill in the blank, and they started taking fill in the blank supplement, and they were pregnant within two months. Have you tried that? There was an incredible emotional toll from this whole process. I had a significant amount of stress from my demanding job. I felt guilty for waiting so long, and most importantly, my husband and I were mad that we had worked so hard to avoid for so many years, and in reality had a hard time even trying to get pregnant. We felt broken. We felt like the system had failed us, and I began to question everything. I questioned my body, my own decisions, my faith, my own medical training, and I felt unseen and unheard in the medical system, which I typically felt pretty confident with navigating myself. And so I knew that something had to change. Instead of continuing to trust the other healthcare professionals that were caring for me, I became my own advocate. I started treating myself or going to other doctors to ask, could you please order this or could we look into this evaluation? Within the realm of restorative reproductive medicine, I learned how to dig into root causes and heal beyond even the protocols I had been taught. I learned that just keep trying was not good enough. Eventually we found answers that had been overlooked, and this was a compilation of multiple different systems of restorative reproductive medicine in addition to integrative health, in addition to lifestyle changes. And finally, finally, finally, after almost three years of trying, we were able to conceive. This would not have been possible had it not been for identifying root causes, treating holistically and refusing to be told that everything was normal. We were able to go on and have a healthy, full-term pregnancy with supportive treatment of restorative reproductive medicine, both before and during my pregnancy. And then we decided we wanted to add to our family again, and pregnancy two came, and it was much easier this time around. However, it ended in a miscarriage, just when we thought we had everything figured out. After that first pregnancy, we were shattered. The OB doctor that we went to was less than helpful and she said, well, at least you know you can get pregnant, so just go try again. The loss of that second pregnancy shook me to my core and what I thought I had figured out about my body. We thought we had cleared the hurdle and how to make this happen again. And really what happened is that that loss helped me to realize that things change over time. The stress on my body was different. The amount of sleep I was getting at night with having a young one at home was different, and lifestyle and health are not just something you can put on autopilot. Thankfully, we were able to go on to have two more full-term pregnancies, and now we have three beautiful spirited, wild and brilliant children. Looking back, I carry both gratitude for my story as well as a fire to help others. I want people to know that there are better ways to evaluate fertility. There are better ways to treat and to deal with miscarriage, and there are also doctors out there who know and who understand and who get this road. My story has become my mission to make sure that no woman feels alone in this journey, and that all couples could have a safe space to let their story be heard. My message of hope for you today and for all those who are grieving this week of national infertility awareness is that infertility is not your fault. You are not broken, and your body is not this mysterious thing to be ignored. There is a better way forward. An approach that listens, investigates, digs deep to find those root causes and works to restore health. Restorative reproductive medicine offers answers and compassion, especially for those who have been told everything's normal. Healing isn't just physical. It's emotional and relational too. And my story is just one of many, and that's why I share it with you today so that you know that hope is real and hope is possible. If you're in the waiting, the wondering or the heartache of infertility, I see you. I've been there and I want you to know there is a way forward that truly listens to your story to help find and solve the underlying cause of your fertility challenges. Imagine if instead of feeling brushed aside, told your normal, or worse yet being rushed into IVF, if you could work with a team that investigated your unique story, your labs. Your cycle, your partner's medical and health factors, and gave you real answers. If that's what you're looking for, I would be most honored to walk with you, not just through medical treatment, but through emotional healing as well on this journey. If you're ready to work with our elite team of healthcare professionals, go to our website, radiant clinic.com to schedule a free discovery call with me and learn more about our package based pricing for comprehensive care. We are currently able to see people for in-person appointments in our Cedar Rapids, Iowa Clinic, or can arrange for a telehealth visit if you live in many different states across the us. Check out our website for current states that we can serve medical clients and let us know if your state is not listed to see if we can still cover you there as we are constantly expanding our reach. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. Please share this podcast with someone in your life who would benefit from our services. Remember to subscribe to this podcast for more empowering content that I look forward to sharing with you on our next episode of Cycle Wisdom.